More surprises

I went for a refill on my coffee before I started this entry and my eyes happened to land on my Laughing Budda (charming coincidence, you think?) as I was headed back to my computer.  He made me smile like he always does.  It's been a few days since I have smiled.  I asked my friend, Jim, if he thought I was caught up in a soap opera or stuck in the Twilight Zone.  He offered that I was in the Twilight Zone, otherwise, surely a piano would have fallen on a certain someone by now. 

My husband and I have recently been given primary custody of his children, Amanda & Ryan.  It's been a long bumpy emotional journey to reach this point.  We won't go into that.  And just when I thought it was finally over we hit another bump in the road - a crater that took all of the wind out of my tires, leaving me gasping.  Their Mom has refused to release any financial information so that child support proceedings could go forth.  No big surprise there.  But in a phone conference with the judge, she unexpectedly (and shockingly) announced that she wanted to relinquish all rights to her children.  Having been on the flip side of child support payments (my husband paid her a fortune even though we had joint 50/50  physical custody) for years, I understand the anquish of wondering how one will ever manage to still survive while paying child support.  I really, really do.  But to give your children completely up without even trying?  Just when I think this woman can't surprise me again, she does, leaving me gaping like an idiot.

I'm trying so hard to look at the good side.  I'll be adopting the children that I am raising.  I'll no longer be considered a "legal stranger" (yes, that's the terminology for step parents).  We can move away!  I don't have to worry about what will happen if she decides to take the children for a visit.  Best of all, from a personal standpoint,  I never, ever need to talk to this woman again.  I don't have to suffer her insults and venom.  Her screaming fits  Harrassment.  Threats.  BUT ~
      what about them?  what consequence of having your Mom just give you up? 

They seem thrilled.  The middle-of-the-night-crying jags stopped almost as soon as they started living here full time.  Ryan is calling me Mama and her Robin.  Amanda said, "you mean you'll be my whole Mom, not my step-mom?  YIPPEE". 

So, why is my heart breaking for them?