Mutton/Self-Pity Busters
Posted on Jul 5th, 2008
by
ayla
I started feeling lonely and sorry for myself on Thursday. It was my 5th wedding anniversary and my husband, as usual, at work in Alaska. We miss out on many holidays together with his schedule (3 weeks on, 3 weeks off). I don't know why this felt different. Because it was the 5th and Hallmark seems to mark every 5th year as special? He'd already bought me a new ring - a big one. I have all of my children trained, when I show them my ring they smile and say "bling bling!". Of course there is a story behind the ring:
When we got married we were too broke to buy rings so we just "recycled" the rings from my prior marriage. I know that's kind of weird, tacky even. I didn't really care about rings, I just wanted him but it really bothered him that he couldn't buy me a ring so I sold him my old one for a dollar. Ta dah! Problem solved. The new ring was a surprise and a "Past, Present & Future" ring ~ the kind I always ooooh & ahhhh over, only bigger. I have tiny fingers and the carat and 1/2 looks too big on my finger, well, it did until I got used to it. That's how much I care about diamonds & carats but the love behind it, the fact that my husband wanted to "make it up" to me - well, that's sweet and means a lot.
But I digress. I was feeling lonely and sorry for myself. Ladybear invited me to her Fourth of July party here at Gaia and that cheered me up immensely. I suddenly felt so much less alone. Still, I hadn't planned anything more than attending the fireworks @ Twin Falls for the 4th so I had lingering feelings of loneliness and boredom on the 4th. I kept thinking back to the celebrations in Florida at the beach with friends, all day in the sun, followed by spectacular fireworks in Sarasota. Twin Falls fireworks almost bore me in comparison. Not that fireworks can actually bore me, I love them too much, but you know what I mean.
Sick of feeling sorry for myself, sick of being bored and lonely - Ryan camping with his former step-father, Mandi glued to the T.V. & her text msg'ing, I decided to head up to Hailey for the Rodeo. I'm not much of a Rodeo fan and neither is Mandi but we decided to give it a go.
I'm still not much of a rodeo fan. The bleachers were ridiculously steep and crowded - no easy way in or out (for instance when I had to pee!), the dust made my throat raw, and oh! those poor little calves (I hate that calf roping competition), my stomach in my throat every time some young guy was riding a bull (how do they manage not to get killed anyway?) - but it was nice to be out among people and in the sun. Now, the Mutton Buster?! That was hilarious. Little tiny kids trying to ride sheep. I laughed myself silly. One little guy made it half way across the arena. We gave him a standing ovation. Maybe I need to just stick to the kiddie part of the rodeo. The horses ridden by pretty girls and tiny little princesses all dolled up - that was fun and cute. The M.C.'s corny jokes - yeah, I groaned, but with laughter. So it wasn't a complete bust.

Then we stayed for the Hailey fireworks. It's a town filled with very rich people (Demi Moore & Bruce Willis among them) so we thought maybe the fireworks would be a little better than @ Twin Falls. We made our way to the High School lawn. We were duly impressed by the high school, very beautiful, with sloping grassy lawns. We laid out our blanket and chatted and watched all of the little ones with sparklers and whistling fireworks. And then the show began. Life is good. The fireworks were spectacular!!!! They were so good that they made us laugh and laugh as though we were on a rollercoaster or something. I found myself thanking God for these little miracles that make life so sweet. I told 13 yr old Mandi, who I had just spent a wonderful day with without one bicker between the two of us (another miracle) to always remember this day and night because it had been so special. She cuddled up to me and agreed that it had been special and told me she loved me.
We listened to our book-on-tape on the long ride home and laughed and giggled together because it's a very funny book. We were mauled by dogs who had spent way too many hours in their kennels when we got home. It was so, so nice to re-connect with my Mandi. It was nice (for the first five minutes) to be loved and appreciated by my four-legged buddies. All of the lonely feelings over, done with, gone. Hubby home Tuesday and then we'll make up for lost time, although I don't guess I'll blog about those fireworks.
When we got married we were too broke to buy rings so we just "recycled" the rings from my prior marriage. I know that's kind of weird, tacky even. I didn't really care about rings, I just wanted him but it really bothered him that he couldn't buy me a ring so I sold him my old one for a dollar. Ta dah! Problem solved. The new ring was a surprise and a "Past, Present & Future" ring ~ the kind I always ooooh & ahhhh over, only bigger. I have tiny fingers and the carat and 1/2 looks too big on my finger, well, it did until I got used to it. That's how much I care about diamonds & carats but the love behind it, the fact that my husband wanted to "make it up" to me - well, that's sweet and means a lot.
But I digress. I was feeling lonely and sorry for myself. Ladybear invited me to her Fourth of July party here at Gaia and that cheered me up immensely. I suddenly felt so much less alone. Still, I hadn't planned anything more than attending the fireworks @ Twin Falls for the 4th so I had lingering feelings of loneliness and boredom on the 4th. I kept thinking back to the celebrations in Florida at the beach with friends, all day in the sun, followed by spectacular fireworks in Sarasota. Twin Falls fireworks almost bore me in comparison. Not that fireworks can actually bore me, I love them too much, but you know what I mean.
Sick of feeling sorry for myself, sick of being bored and lonely - Ryan camping with his former step-father, Mandi glued to the T.V. & her text msg'ing, I decided to head up to Hailey for the Rodeo. I'm not much of a Rodeo fan and neither is Mandi but we decided to give it a go.
I'm still not much of a rodeo fan. The bleachers were ridiculously steep and crowded - no easy way in or out (for instance when I had to pee!), the dust made my throat raw, and oh! those poor little calves (I hate that calf roping competition), my stomach in my throat every time some young guy was riding a bull (how do they manage not to get killed anyway?) - but it was nice to be out among people and in the sun. Now, the Mutton Buster?! That was hilarious. Little tiny kids trying to ride sheep. I laughed myself silly. One little guy made it half way across the arena. We gave him a standing ovation. Maybe I need to just stick to the kiddie part of the rodeo. The horses ridden by pretty girls and tiny little princesses all dolled up - that was fun and cute. The M.C.'s corny jokes - yeah, I groaned, but with laughter. So it wasn't a complete bust.

Then we stayed for the Hailey fireworks. It's a town filled with very rich people (Demi Moore & Bruce Willis among them) so we thought maybe the fireworks would be a little better than @ Twin Falls. We made our way to the High School lawn. We were duly impressed by the high school, very beautiful, with sloping grassy lawns. We laid out our blanket and chatted and watched all of the little ones with sparklers and whistling fireworks. And then the show began. Life is good. The fireworks were spectacular!!!! They were so good that they made us laugh and laugh as though we were on a rollercoaster or something. I found myself thanking God for these little miracles that make life so sweet. I told 13 yr old Mandi, who I had just spent a wonderful day with without one bicker between the two of us (another miracle) to always remember this day and night because it had been so special. She cuddled up to me and agreed that it had been special and told me she loved me.
We listened to our book-on-tape on the long ride home and laughed and giggled together because it's a very funny book. We were mauled by dogs who had spent way too many hours in their kennels when we got home. It was so, so nice to re-connect with my Mandi. It was nice (for the first five minutes) to be loved and appreciated by my four-legged buddies. All of the lonely feelings over, done with, gone. Hubby home Tuesday and then we'll make up for lost time, although I don't guess I'll blog about those fireworks.


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